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Pain Opened My Eyes
To All Of You - My Friends
Always The Same
Depression
Prisoner Of Time
Pain Tree
Words





Pain Opened My Eyes

Pain Opened My Eyes To A Whole New Life
A life full of fears
And too many tears
Pain also showed me what life is really, all about
Life is about people, without a doubt
Life is about helping, supporting, and caring
Life is about people bonding and sharing
Pain brought something good along with the bad
The true meaning of life, something wonderful, not sad
Take care all,


April © 06/05/97

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To All Of You..My Friends

To All Of You...My Friends
Friendship is a strange thing
We find ourselves telling each other the deepest details of our lives
Things we don't even share with our families
But what is a friend? A confidant? A shoulder to cry on?
A ear to listen? A heart to feel?
A friend is all these things....and more
No matter where we met....I call you friend.
A word so small....yet so large in feeling
A word filled with emotion.
It is true great things come in small packages
Once the package of friendship has been opened,
It can never be closed
It is a constant book always written
Waiting to be read....and enjoyed.
We may have disagreements....we may argue
We may concern one another
Friendship is a unique bond that lasts through it all
A part of me is put into you, my friends
Some of it is my humor....some of it is my listening ear
Some of it is real life experiences
But with all it is friendship!
You all mean so much to me!


April © 5/15/97

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Always the Same

Every day it is always the same.
Morning through night playing the game.
To where there is no fortune or fame.
No rewards, nothing to gain.
Only relief from my never-ending pain.


April ©5/12/97.

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Depression

Depression...
The darkness lingers nearby...
Leaving a trail of questions of why...
The darkness follows me,
Never allowing me to truly see...
Never allowing me to just be...
The darkness is always there,
Never allowing me to care...
Leaving only a blank stare...
The torment is so very unfair...
Yes, the darkness lingers nearby,
But is surrounded by a beautiful blue sky.



April ©5/24/97.

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Prisoner of Time

The seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days....
All the games that my mind plays.
I'm not here, I'm not there....
I'm really not anywhere.
A place where time stands still....
Too much time to kill.
Faces come and faces go....
These feelings they just don't know.
Eventually this will be in the past....
For now, hoping the days go by fast.
The seconds, the minutes, the hours, the days....
A glimmer of hope, I touch the sun's rays.


[ April © 08/27/97. ]

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Pain Tree
On a particular depressing rainy day I once again watched "my tree", as I have come to call it, from my hospital window and I began to write. I have come to realize that "my tree" has been my link to the outside world beyond these sterile white walls. It gave me comfort and a little peace of mind when I needed it, strangely enough, this one little tree means so much to me. This is what I wrote, what I ended up with....

A tree, my pain
So much the same.
I close my eyes, I feel the movement
For a moment, an eternity, my thoughts are sent.
My life, my pain, a tree
Stuck in the same place, never truly free.
Long, strong roots hold me there to stay
I can move, but only a back and forth sway.
At times I blossom, at times I look as though I died
At times my leaves fall, they are all the tears I've cried.
The cold takes my life, warmth brings me back to life
Turmoil winds blow through me, cutting me like a knife.
The rings inside me they show my age
I feel so much older from all the pain, sorrow, and rage.
My roots connect to others like me, the earth makes us one
We cannot soar through the sky, we cannot run.
I can only stand tall and cling to the ground
I can only fight for my life without making a sound.
We can be cut down by others
We can be saved by sisters and brothers.
Hope, care, and love can make us flourish
Depression and loneliness can make us diminish.
Pain, so much to lose, nothing to gain
If only it could be washed away with the rain.
There are many others out there just like me
Blinded eyes see them as just another tree.


April © 09/27/97.

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Words

The words written here are so true
The words here have so much meaning
The words expressed here catch
In the pit of my stomach, where
They fill the emptiness in my heart,
Where they stay and grow into something
Meaningful, something special
But it isn't just the words
It's the people behind the words
That mean so much to me.
There are no truer friends than
All of you, than each one of you.
Thank you being there for me
Thank you for caring
Thank you for everything.


April © 1 Oct 97


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